Change is good, but not when it hurts you. I don't want fall to come for the obvious reasons. Am I wrong to be excited to leave this WRETCHED place and then I find happiness, true happiness and then i revaluate my excitement to go? I think the saying is true, that love makes you do things you normally would not do. But what is the most powerful force on Earth? Love or Success?
To answer you, it's love. Love is universal, or so i believe. success is only a reason to say to others they've failed. Personally love is the path I should take, but this cancerous species crawling on a beautiful planet is holding me back. They'll tell you this. They'll tell you that, but what is real and what is fake? How do i decipher what to believe? There is no use complaining on the matter, for I have no control over it.
DID YOU HEAR THAT??! NO CONTROL, over my life. MYLIFE! I guess that's reality and you and I must face it. Love is man's reality- Carlos Santana's album love,devotion,surrender. So now we put what I just said together. if I have to face my reality, but love is my reality, than does that mean I'm in separate realities? 2 different realities that have been tangled into a knot! BAHA! This seems impossible. There is no way I live in 2 separate realities, says the close minded fool. But I do, one of love and one of confusion, perhaps. Maybe not confusion...but normality. Which means normality is confusing to me, says my subconscience. Now im onto a separate debate. back to love. SO, one reality of love for a girl and one of normality, meaning a life other than love for another human. IF im a strong enough person, maybe i can keep them tangled together. Consider looking at it from a rope's perspective. I have 2 short ropes. and 1 tall mountain. I need to combine these ropes to get to the top. I tie them together, right? yes. However, that doesn't guarantee my safety of getting to the top. If im strong enough, i can make sure that i get to the top safely. Same situation here. 2 realities. 1 life.
FUCK I love her. FUCK I love my life. I can't even make the decision anymore which one I want to fuck up. It's love. I'm going to fuck it up. It kills me everyday to think that soon, I won't hold her anymore. Tightly. Passionately. Marcos told me, clara is his reality and he lives for clara. that opened my mind. Do I want to live for Julia? I did it, name drop. Do i want to risk my sanity staying in love with her? frankly yes, because im already insane. Why not put myself through 1 more insane event? Like LSD. It's insane, it's a trip. Love. It's insane, it's a trip. A journey. I love LSD and I can compare love to it. Which seems material, but at least I dont drop drugs and lose my head and my mind. I gain more mind. I open doors to perception. Alter my conscious. Being able to think differently than others. BUT, I can compare them. LSD and love. Both grand, but love prevails.
Love always prevails.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
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